I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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