I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize