Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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