I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
