But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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