I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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