I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
