1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
