This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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