i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
