Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
