i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
