So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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