Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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