discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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