Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
