so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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