i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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