I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
