bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
