I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My life is pants optional.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
