We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
