four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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