I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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