New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
