ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
