I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
