went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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