if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
