just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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