Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
