do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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