Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
