She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize