You made me cry and you don't even care
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
