The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
