I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
