his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
