your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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