I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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