Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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