Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
