He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
