Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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