just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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