That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
