I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
