GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
