So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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