just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I lost the right to judge tonight
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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