Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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