you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
