whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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