What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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