I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
