420 ftw
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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