please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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