i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
