He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
two words: eviction party
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
