Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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