I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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