shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
